hmmmm...back here so soon?

alot thing happened. unexpectedly.

like i said i went fishing with a couple of fren. one of them being my most trusted buddy during my National Service. then there was bernard as well. he was holding a 3rd-sargent rank when i first met him. he was quite my senior in age, hence, i always knew to place a certain amount of respect and awe jus for his seniority in age. however, he always seems to wanna 'get in the group' mentality. well, thats at least what his actions said. he went for the fishing as well.

to certain people who knows, i have actually a phobia about frogs. my legs can jus suddenly go into rebellious mode. meaning, performing great feats without proper authorization and approval from my brain. it can jus freeze INFINTE hours or performing olypmic jumps breaking records. thats that. why the phobia...long story. will tell you more if you.

anyway, it jus so happens that last nite, of the person in our group spotted a frog/toad(basically i dun give a damn). AND OF ALL THE PLACES, it was jus VERY VERY behind me, somewhere within the grass. haiz...actually i have no qualms about anyone poking fun of me about my phobia. well, if it can really stroke your ego, laughing about other people's weakness(like you dun have a weak spot), by all means LAUGH.

this is where i really wished i had re-arranged bernard's face. he really pissed me off with the CONSISTENT tauting, jokes and commentaries. )#*!@(&(@#^&(censored). PLEASE~~, how old are you already? dun you know there is always a time limit to jokes , especially when they are AT THE EXPENSE of others? how mature can he get? he is at least reaching 30.

*mental note to self* : leave a gap between me and this loser. in case i get associated with his lame D***.

basicailly, the personal lives of others are none of my business. for his case, i really hope he stays jobless and live off his parents till this parents depart from this sad reality. the ultimate punishment? i hope to re-arrange his organs.

enough of that....

later part of this day, i was actually wondering. wondering? if a relationship, no matter wat type, is built on minimal truth, can it be strong? for example, i was messaging someone today. within our conversation, she mentioned that she is goin to airport, on her own accord. so out of sheer curiousity, i asked about her business at airport. she replied that she would be doin a travel overseas to country T.

this reply is actually a very normal reply on any other context. however, taking into consideration that she jus returned from country T. i pretended to go along and wished her well.

not taking into consideration that anything romantic might happen between us and that we are only frens. IS IT really necessary to go through all this pretention? is this the latest fade? in the first place, she mentioned out of her own accord that she is goin to airport. if she feels any where uncomfortable about givin me answer, she could have jus said so and declined to answer my question. i am not the police nor interpol, investigatin on a murder case that requires her answer.

pretention, i think, can only add on to the instablity and gap between people. feeling very sick, emotionally that is. felt like losing 2 frens in jus one nite. sigh~~