back here to say my piece.

over dinner i jus remembered something taught in Neuro-Linguistic Programming Inter-disciplinary module, which i am currently takin in Ngee Ann. the conscious mind will lead the sub-conscious mind. hence i have decided, to take charge. to once and for all stamp down and concentrate 200% on my studies and projects.

being a libra, it doesnt help in makin decision. there is the part of me that goes, WHAT IF. what if this huiling is the one? OR what if the one comes along and i am all engrossed in my studies and my life only? then i answer back, what if she doesnt? being pessimistic has its perks...:)

here comes the reason. i cannot possibly 'what if' every other single and available girl that comes along. that would be totally mistake, not to mention totally pathetic. mistake meaning, i have to live my life. i cant have these topics surround me all the time. once or twice...ok no prob. however, i cant just live in these topics, its not healthy. there are alot more things to do. things like er...cant think of any thing now, maybe later something will show. the POINT is, GET on with your life already.

life isnt all about girls. there is the POWER, not to mention WEALTH and FAME. so many things to purse and you choose girls. haiz. things will work out, eventually. EVENTUALITY(defined by princeton:a possible event or occurrence or result).

let not heart affairs bother thee. let thee rest in thy own daily chores and play. let i who hath too much time in fantasy land return. let not the fates play us out. steer thy life as thee fit and not let wild obscure thoughts run.

yes...i am back. back here to blab about myself and my insignificant life. haha...just joking not to so pessimistic.

however, i do feel kinda of withdrew from the crowd. somehow, i feel that there is no more meaning in the crowd. when you have lost that face you look for in the crowd, i guess you will have that kinda of withdrawal too. i didnt lose anyone physically, if thats what you are wondering. humph...

life has been rather busy for me lately. projects deadlines draw ever so near, and i have planned for myself to pick up ever more things to do. wahahahaha...feels like i am trying to numb myself? oh well...maybe i am. numb from? who knows.

oh...one important thing to add. recently, i got to know this indonesian girl who is currently in beijing, i guess. i posted my interest as astrology and stated that i knew some knowledge of it. then poof...there she was, on MSN. her name is huiling, and she is a virgin(HOROSCOPE, no indication of sexual activity) of my age.

ever since then, she has been the only one so far that has so consistently converse with me, or at least i try to. till date, i can confidently say that she is the ONLY one who has so consistently tried to converse with me. everytime she is online, she is bound to drop a line or two. er...not to mention those kissing winks and heart-everywhere winks. i guess its obvious i am not so comfortable with that...because i feel like i am being woo-ed.

when i told mummy about it, she was (unable to describe that expression of hers). she said,"ok, wat. dun think so much, relax lar." anyway, she is the type who thinks that when a guy and girl sleep around, guys are always on the upper hand and girls at the losing end. so i guess what mummy wants is for me to enjoy being woo-ed, IF thats the case.

oh...well, cant say i talk alot to her. the most frequent words i use are like 'haha', 'k', 'tks' and 'got to go'. not very inclined to talk to her though, however, she seems to be able to confide in me though. weird huh? i think so too.

goin for dinner...maybe will write later.

its been a long time since i wrote. haha...obvious.

today happy day, well at least for this moment. i jus completed the printed circuit board(PCB) design for Zer0, so whats not to be happy about? :)

in acutal fact, this current design which i have just completed is the 2nd board. the first board is a 110mm by 83mm board. there are empty spaces here and there, everything was cleanly done up. cleanly because i had done half of the routing manually and half by the auto-route feature of Design Explorer Protel 99SE. yea!!! the manual parts that i did do is to try and make the routes more efficient. meaning, to the human eyes the routes dun look too stupid. well, humans do have the more complex mind. so that was that.

that board when through 2 person and suffered some feedback(choice of words:instead of failure; there is no failure in design). first off was from Mr Goh, the resident techincal support officer(TSO) at Alpha Centre, weichien and i were attached to him for technical support. meaning, he was our life bouy if we should meet up with any problems in the project. and oh...our team is PZ20(coded by alpha centre...hmph). anyhow, from first glance Mr Goh could tell it was a auto-route work. WOW! then he gave PLENTIFUL of places for me to watch out and improve.

next off, Mr Lim. he is our project supervisor. he seems kinda of FORGETTFUL and kinda of bias against the teams competiting in the Singapore Robotics Games(SRG). blah blah blah...its always his US sumo people(those teams who were attending the RoboGames 2006 Sumo robot catergory). anyhow, he gave more ideas and of course that would translate to more work and re-do. that eventually lead to the birth of the 2nd board...YEA!!!

the second board, is a 9 by 9cm board. totally manual routed. following certain ideals of routing provided by Mr Goh and QiJing(ex-classmate in JJC, who is now doing project in Alpha Centre too). tailoring to the requirements by Mr Lim as well. FINALLY, it has a birthdate. :)

everything is progressing well in Zer0. the body should be out soon. the PCB design once approved by Mr Lim , will be out in fabrication for 2 weeks. Anticipation!!!!

thinking back jus this morning, a certain 'thirst' has awaken. was it the packet of Lays potato chips that i had for dinner yesterday? nope...was it jus because i woke up from my drooling sleep? nope. i was something more, something deep.

the yearn for another companion has grew ever more. someone to share my thoughts, someone to share my happy moments, someone to share my time with, someone to be with and someone to hug with. that 'thirst' almost prevented me from the completion of my board. just another lonely soul in this big and crowded world. paradoxical? o.o

today is also my grandma's birthday. this is my maternal grandma. how old is she, you ask. seriously, i have no idea. what i do know is that she got married during the WWII and for that, her every day is already a blessing.

today is goin to be another crowded session of relatives. sigh... ... ...is there anyone there to quench my 'thirst'?

after yesterday's fierce battle at the badminton court, my right hand have problem closing. the muscle(in the lower arm) that is controlling the grip motion and the wrist motion hurts!!!! ouch! and to think i went to work today.

yea...went to harvest catering to work today. same old same old, setup ready for people to dine. after which, clean up after them. the usual rountine that my mummy did for at least 20 years of my life.

during one of trips to and fro, my brain started its engine. then i was thinking, wouldnt it be nice, to be working all day and come back to have something that someone special made for you. hmmmm...sweet. no i am not from any non-profit marriage organisation trying to promote marriage.

however, the whole idea jus turns me on. yea! well it dun have to be meal, it could be a muffin that she has been trying hard to make or perfect(which is the better scenerio). or even a simple cookie. heart-warming sight. ahhhh....!

so i guess i am one of those, that you might consider the stomach guy. however, i dun necessary need to taste gourmet standard food. i taste the sincerity in the food rather than the food. besides food is jus food. make it so delicious also end up being nothing.

oh...another thing. i saw face to face my first Rolls Royce. car plate number was SFM 288. wow! spectacular! (drooling)

Zer0 is now on the way to its 2nd review. Weichien is now doing the 2D drawings for all the mechanical parts. i am now still trying to design the most route efficient PCB layout. actually i am still quite lost in the PCB design and layout.

current location : at Ngee Ann Poly canteen 1

plan for today :
1) try my best to teach Skye MPI(microprocessor programmin and interfacing)[my 2nd year module]

2) do routing for the PCB which i have finished placement of components jus yesterday. [tons of satisfaction and zest after completion]

3) play badminton after school at pasir panjang christ church. making use of their multi-purpose hall. hehe...althougn not christian but i know Jesus is kind enough to loan me the courts FOC for one session.

all these events are achievable with the trusty support of my new/old phone. oh...guess i didnt rave about the new/old phone that i got. haiz...maybe its because of the price i paid for it. i paid cash S$98 plus i trade-in another phone of mine. i got Nokia 6100(i think). traded in my nokia 8310...sniff sniff. to me, the 8310, was more than a phone. with it containing all the memories, scratches and fingerprints of my past.

however, the phone gave up on me instead. it chose to auto delete the actual physical memory it has, making it highly usable for me. so for the period before i got this new/old phone, i was using one of the phone in my brother's collection, nokia 8850.

i was actually jus contended with a phone to use actually. it was actually my brother who kept hounding me to get a new phone, so that he could have his 8850 back. apparently, he thinks that i am doin tons of damage to the phone. well...i cant say that is not entirely false accusations. rather, how can you use something without giving it a scratch or 2, or even bumbing it off something. hehe...

so EVENTUALLY, after many sessions of nag, violent 'takeovers' and tireless persuasion, i gave in. i got a new/old phone. a brand new 2nd-hand phone, well, minus the brand new. at least it looks relatively brand new to me. oh well...it does feels thin-er and more non-existant than my 8310.

the good thing about the phone being a 2nd-hand phone is that it has quite a number of previous settings. things like GAMES which i like. for example, pro mahjong and big 2(card game, more popular within the Asian region).

oops gotto skye is here

now...in front of my computer staring blankly.

suddenly, nothing inside brain.

mummy jus know was inquiring into my future exams and holidays. when i told her the last and final exam was in sept, she totally freaked.

"SO soon you graduating?" mummy ASTONISHED.

guess that she was kinda of expecting me go for the long service award in Ngee Ann Poly. well guess what, no mummy, i am not going for that award. i am trying to get my diploma asap, no time to lose.

btw, did i address the issue how weird my mummy behaves? i guess i got most of my genes from her. hehe...

there was this one time where i got a GPA of 3.963(highest possible of 4). being the eage-to-please-and-impress-mummy kinda of guy, i told her the good news straight. well, it turns out REALLY annoying.

"You didnt get 4?" mummy again ASTONISHED.

although mummy hasnt been one of those mums whose always on their sons back prancing around in hopes of good grades, life is still tough. she was always on my back prancing to keep me afloat and not to fail. it was a straight downward path from 90+ marks in primary 1. she even demostrated that if i continue the graph, i would still pass my primary 5 but fail primary 6. hehe...

she is always the grade booper also. whenever, i score well for test, it will be near hard to impress her, even if i would be the only one that pass in the class(rare to near extinct chances).

"why compare yourself to those who did worst than you? why dun compare to those who did better than you?" mummy in an defensive tone.

trust me, it was never in her motive to see her dearly beloved son in the top ranks(even though it would defintely be a really beautiful appraisal as a mummy). she jus wanted her son to be normal, no pressure and live out his potential. that brings us to the next topic. the mental abacus classes she signed up for me while at tender childhood.

the class was real interesting AT THE BEGINNING. what class isnt interesting at the beginning? the hard part was keeping up as the level rose. did it improve my mental calculation abilities? well, those who know me knows best. hehe. the more important question was why did i stick with it? NO idea. i jus showed up for class all the way till i was very much near the top of the ranks(3rd highest ranks). plentiful of certs which illustrated my participation at certain prestigious events(mental calculation examination). the venue was cool, it was at erm...some ballroom somewhere downtown.

anyhow, managed to convince my mummy to let me quit. my brother, took the same class as me, but he was more devious. he failed a few test, proved his incompetence and incapabilities. mummy had no choice but to withdraw him. GREAT! it actually took me more pains to fail than to pass. arghh!!!

then again, mummy didnt gave me much stress nor pressure, was only there to nag and keep me afloat in the education system. AND i am proud to say that she has done excellent job. thanks mummy(salute).

she is always on the lookout for my welfare. whenever, near exam periods, i will get special brew of chinese medical concotions. not forgetting the all important indgredient, the essence of chicken. on the usual days, she will keep her eyes peeled for the next available, cheap and good tuition.

tuition was the only pastime in my childhood years. the rest of the childhood years are either spent in front of the TV or at the playgrounds near the tuition. day in day out, it has always been awakening, school, home, tuition, home and sleep. do i resent her for my hectic lifestyle? ....truthfully, there was this time at a particular moment in my life where i did. i resented myself for going to so many tuition. then again, resentment didnt get me this far in life.

recently, i hate waking up in the middle of the night. why? because when i do, i feel all alone. then i will proceed on to hug my 2nd pillow tightly, so tight that it has in recent times deformed.

even though i know that hugging a pillow is no permanent solution. my brain has no solution to offer my body. why is there such longing to be hugged? i heard people say that its due to the lack of hugs due my infancy years that lead to the vast desire to be hugged and assured. well, i dun remember much about my infancy years. however, what i do remember is that since the beginning of my memory, i dun think i have hugged anybody because of an urge to hug. hmmmm...weird. hehe...wanna know who was in mind when the urge to hug came? hehe...

oh...back to the topic about me writing blog. a few days back, a fren mentioned that he actually wanted to start writing blog, but was totally clueless about it. being frens, i told him how i did it.

whenever, i start to write a post, i would have this certain scenerio in mind. i would imagine myself being the reader in one fine day, where i had lost all memories of my past. this blog is supposed to provide as accurate as possible details to the daily significant events in my life. well maybe not daily, but most significant events in my life. those big shockers, small happiness and interesting thoughts.

within this blog i try as much as possible to embed my emotions at that current moment. if not, this whole blog might jus as well be known as the biography of maxferes. i didnt like history, due to it the stiffness of content. eeek.

the extra audience is jus secondary concern. then this whole issue starts, if i didnt have the extra audience as primary motive, then why am i doin it online? the whole branding of being a show-off cum attention seeker starts. humph...

i should by explaining why i chose to leave my memories online rather than other alternatives. firstly, i dun quite like to write. i dun have a nice handwriting and yes, i do know that practice makes perfect, but i am jus not quite inclined to do it. this is further explained in the next point. another thing is about coherent thinking. my thoughts are more attuned to the typing fingers rather than the writing hand. thus multiple correction arise when i write, because i think too slowly than my writing hand. however, when i type, my fingers think the thoughts for me. somehow, they sync.

hehe...although the electronic writing more for multiple correction writing. however, i make less correction that when i do on writing. or is that my impression...:)

secondly, the hassle of a diary. sooner or later, the diary is goin to run out of pages. then what? get new diary? where do i store the old ones? eventually all diaries get stored in some part of earth in Singapore. the impression of internet that i have is linked with forever. thus my memories can be forever stored, hopefully stored away.

hmmm...i guess thats all the excuse i can think of for my actions to write my memories online.

this is the 2nd day of prep BATTLE ROYALE. the first day ended quite alright till i stepped out of the prep BATTLE ROYALE arena and realised a vital mistake. haiz...sigh. now can only look forward to the future.

LiNG has been named to Zer0. why? apparently, weichien suddenly didnt like the name. actually the whole idea is to name it zero and ling is the chinese pronounciation(hanyu pin yin) for zero.

finally settled...

the courts has heard both side of the story. the case has been resolved. respective sides have come to a consensus.

on my part, i have and will publicly acknowledge the sorrows, distress and trouble of any sort or more. hence, i would like to hereby apologise to the affected party through 2 ways. first, my public APOLOGY. second, the withdrawal of the previous 2 post.

through this incident(friday sushi incident), i have learnt that, i am TOO FAST for the world around me. or in another words, i am too implusive. implusivly implusive and too reactive.

i believe in solvin ANY problem asap. for the rest of the human race, there may exist such a thing as a cool off period. however, its a total myth for me. if i cannot solve a problem, the warm on period begins. the longer the warm on period, the least likely i will even care about solvin the problem. this is an obvious trait when i do maths problems.

the warm on period varies with each problem also. the more interest invested in the problem the more likely to warm on faster. the least interest invested in the problem the less likely to warm on faster. thats why, math is my strong subject. not because i have interest in it. :) weird....

another thing is about this trust thing that i have for people around me. i dun usually trust people around me. sad to say, but true. unless i have uncovered that truth does flow from them. then again, truth in relative to who?

this trust that i have from people stem from the trust that i hope to have from them. like i have said in previous post, to recieve you have to first give. in chinese charater 舍得, the first character 舍 comes from 舍弃(to abandon) the second character 得 means to get. in order of the character, first to abandon then will you recieve. 舍得 in literally means the willingness. hence this is one of my many weird and exotic root beliefs.

in actions, every word that spills from my mouth holds a certain level of responsiblity and commitment. i will try to be responsible for my comments. i will also try to stay committed to my every promise. since the world is not all round, i will bear responsiblity to try and uphold and explain for my failure.

yesterday night...(censored by XXXX XX XXXX, XXXXXX; personal request)...so thats that.

tml...everything will be said and recorded...now, rest for the beginning of the prep BATTLE ROYALE that starts tml.

today...the graduation ceremony for the Mechanical Engineering School jus ended(1600++). i was part of the ceremony as an usher. comin next year, i will be the major part of it. Mechanical Engineering School houses my course, Mechatronics Engineering.

i have been thinkin long and hard about my future plans. the most ideal would be that i get headhunted jus after i graduate and HOPEFULLY the company/organisation decides to further my studies. well, this is the most ideal situation.

a few other alternative would be to start work immediately after graduation. however, mummy seems to not agree to that. well, i was actually hoping to get some money rolling in, instead of helping her spend her income. its actually bad enough that i have wasted my 2 years and my parents's 2 years worth of resources on me. the urge to take care of them grows ever so steadily. in most of the games i play, i understood that timing is often of the utmost importance. now i guess its still not time to enter the job market yet.

so last option, to continue studies. luckily i got it quite planned out already. most likely, i will get myself into NTU Degree in Mechatronics(stream). i decided to stick back to the mechatronics industry. i have actually heard many accounts from lecturers that most of the students will diverge into either mechanical or electrical. however, i think my passion is too deep into mechatronics already. hehehe. all this studying at the expense of my parents AGAIN. haiz...the predicted year that i will have finished my degree will be around 2009. If i get into direct honours, it will be at 2010. by then the world will be in another pattern already.

during my free time at my ushering job, i looked around at the achievements of the gold medalist and shrunk in response. how am i supposed to join their ranks with my puny contributions? i think i had better hide myself in shame and solitary corner. nevertheless, even if i cant be half as great as the medalist, i shall try my best to narrow the gulf between us.

current stats :
GPA (max. 4)=3.898[3.963,3.833]
6-AD 3-A+ 2-A 2-B+ 1-B
CCA score=3 points(pathetic)
deadline...till december 2005

oh...by the way...the last round of Battle Royale is scheduled at sept 2005 and the prep Battle Royale period is jus next week. here i am, letting my thoughts run wild on tons of other matters. CONCENTRATE!!!!!!! the last BATTLE!! let there be no regrets and no looking back.

current geographical location : Ngee Ann Library, level 4, Magellan room.
mission : to study for the upcoming common test

not forgetting the piece i wrote last nite. actually i had more to write. other than the factual happenings, i wanna write about the other things that happened.

i guess it is true that when a person is alone, he will tend to discover more of himself. i did. throughout this trip, i didnt think i would expect anything, i thot everything would jus happened like in the last trip. a trip to numb my senses.

as i mentioned before, i was actually quite tensed for this trip. with all the information, about this mount ophir being spirited mountain, about havin to calm my parents down before each and every long distance trips and about havin to mentally prep myself to up the mountain.

haha...sometimes someone does say that i think too much. haha...i think so too. if i can manifest my brains onto my body, i guess i can enter the Mr ManHUNK competition. i jus cannot help but consistently flex my brain cells. the worst part is that whenever i get too tense, i will flex it so much that my body has difficulty getting rest, which means i dun sleep. haha...this part my mummy knows best.

remembering in primary school, i can actually get so panicky about homework being undone that i wake up in the wee hours to complete it. then mummy will come and get my arse back in bed so that she can sleep peacefully also. hahaha...

thus on this trip, i pushed myself to sleep and rest as much as possible, as i was afraid of wat my tensed up brain will do to my physical capability. as expected, my body stayed wide awake, due to my tensed bomardment of electric signals in the head.

i had to stray my thots to calm myself down. in the end, i went to bed with the thots of [her] in my mind. who is [her]? definitely not my mummy nor my grands nor any other girls that i know and NO not puteri gunung ledang(the mysterious princess of the mountain). i guess maybe its because [she] has been lingering around my electric signals for a few days before the trip.

after the succeess of first trial of that special brain medication, i have been taking the medication throughout this trip. every moment i cant get to sleep, i bring [her] image into mind. the thot of getting back to singapore to see [her], is the main drive that i have to get me on the summit. i was so driven that i could even help motivate my buddy on this trip up the summit too. fyi(for your information), my buddy for this trip was Mr Ang PG, 47 years old ECE lecturer at Ngee Ann Poly.

...whats my problem? none...jus concentrate on the studies and project for now.

wahahhahaha...back in singapore in ONE GOOD SOLID PIECE!!!!yes!!!!and heres the recap

july 8 left for malaysia(where else but there?) again its another school CCA thingy. left at around 2000++ on public transport to Woodlands customs took bus to Msia customs . amazing, the customs were relatively empty at around midnite. hehe...looking at the previous statement, i suddenly realised i made no sense. hahahaha....oops. everything was a breeze, not the kind of 'jam' that i was expecting to get caught in. THANK YOU organisers!!! JIELING...heres thanks to you. [xie xie ni de yong xin liang ku]

when we came out of msia customs the first mission was to get to City Square to wait for our charted bus. heres the part where we came head on and face off with malaysian efficiency. THE BUS WAS LATE. correction, not late. late is often defined by the inability to meet the appointed time within range of time from 5mins to 30mins to an hour. we were at City Square so long, i that i thot we were waiting for the first public transport to get us to mount ophir. cheez...

again, TAS confiscated my super-featured watch. haiz...no more compass, alitude meter, barometer, temperature and TIME!...the bus finally made a stop in its long journey to Gunung Ledang(mount ophir) Resort. the bus stopped at a canteen at Yong Peng for a while. this canteen is practically like my second home when i am in Malaysia.

whenever, i pop to genting highlands in malaysia, the coach will usually make a stop there. not counting the umpteen times that i visit malaysia, you can perhaps tell why that was liken to a second home. well, i guess most singaporean will have come by to this canteen at Yong Peng too. cos i do believe that there are alot of singaporean coaches who makes pit stops here(erm...i mean there in yong peng)

talk about being singaporean. one characteristic i think we have is the ability to be so early, in order to be so kiasu.(please look up Singlish dictonary at talkingcock.com)not forgetting this trait, we reached the gates of Gunung Ledang at the super wee hours of the morning. so early that even the shops situated jus outside the resort's gates were not even open. well, what to do? sleep..zzz...zzz.z.z.z..z

i managed to catch some zees while on the way from city square to yong peng and then to gunung ledang gates. now we even had more time to catch the zee monster at the small side road jus outside of the gunung ledang gates.

i wasnt awaken by anyone, more accurately, i was awakened by EVERYONE. the busy bustling and hustling of everyone, woke me up to a beautiful morning and a beautiful sight. the sight of the roti prata on the pan. not to mention that everyone was quite literally brrr~~~~cold.

jus then i got hold of Myi Myi Tun(aka ah Hua华) to get some prata and teh tarik together. ah hua is from mymanar(hopefully i spelt it correctly) and IS a guy. he is around the same age as my younger brother(3 years). i think we got along quite well due to the small age difference.

the teh tarik and prata really warmed our cold stomach like cure. after the warming welcome of gunung ledang at her gates we proceeded with the beginning of our trek UP! it was actually a rule to have at least 1 ranger to lead a company of 10 person. thus we were introduced our rangers and off we go.

in order to protect the nature and environment, there were specfic rules about littering offences. well since TAS(the adventure seekers), us, were jus there to trek and not to destory, we obeyed the rules faithfully. to the point, that we even had internal rules not to bring soap and shampoo unless these proudcts are bio-degradable. hehe...i guess this is a small effort but at least we are moving in the direction of a greener enviroment.

the rest of the memory is all blurred. i think its probbably due to the mental stress that i subject myself to. even before the trek, the TAS council have on quite many occasion told us to prepare for the trek up physically. haha...being the lazy me, obviously i took the EZiest way out. so was actually pushing my body very mentally up the whole mountain. now...suffer the sores!!!!

i can still remember that we reached checkpoint 4 in the afternoon. we then pitched tent and settled into our 8-men tents. the original H-8 members from the previous pelapah waterfall trek came out short of 2 person. haha...but nevertheless, we stuck together at under the same tent, with 2 other guys.

from checkpoint 4, we rested for the afternoon. this would be our base camp aka headquarters. from this base camp, we are supposed to trek off to the summit and watch sunrise at around 0200 in the following morning. the rangers had arranged to have a briefing session at around 1900 in the evening before the trek. haha...till then, we trashed it out at the nearby river.

the water was FREAKIN` COLD. when i first stepped into the waters, it totally re-defined my definition of cold feet. THAT WAS IT, unbelievable. next i tried to squat down. jus as expected, the chillness totally froze my balls(forgive my choice of words for being so crude, but i jus cannot find more appropriate words to describe fully that sensation). the waters was also very clear with fishes swimming around. liken to the pictures that you would find in screensavers. AND i really SEEN it with my own 2 eyes, hear it with my own 2 ears, felt it with my skin and tasted it with my own taste buds the river water so natural.

H-8(6 present) being the male hormones driven young guys touted each another into a challenge of endurance. we challenged each another to partially submerged our bodies till our neck in the cold river water. the first to rise, shld recieve the ultimatum punishment. as the water froze our balls, we tried to psycho each another to get up, so that the rest may get up too. haha...i guess everyone is too driven male hormones, that none got up. being the eldest of the H-8, i couldnt bear to saw the rest suffer. there was ethan, with the LEAST fat content and luke who has about the same bulid as ethan. there was also shawn with the tall body to maintain body heat. i was on the other hand quite settling into the cold water. hmm...wonderin why too? all of a sudden i concentrated and poof i felt warmth all around my body. the thots of hypothermia crossed my mind. i wont want to be the one to tell their parents or even the council the bad news. not to mention, to snatch their chance to watch sunrise. plus, ruin the mood of the whole trip. so i volunteered to stand up. shawn was always the more mature of the group saw the kind intention behind my actions. phew~~one less accident.


haha...i guess i shall end here. spent too much time here already. time for other things.

now...currently at Alpha centre

currently lost ALL possible motivation to continue in the sumo project. y? hmmm...arhhghwefhwogihwogihwegoiha;oib hawoiehf uhr vuidbs n;fmvac sjpf98qgh wboeuivbndlu vsugh vu8her fuags nuqigw h4pf8yh p08f9 jgpq82y uh3jp8fhsvdnf ilauh j[q9u wjfrcv97gpf hunxgimf[p0uj43wf8yvgiun pqw93u4 r[=2 qu49wjvoyguthrjp90u W[3YFH RE78BIVU AR;SLJF [ 40UJGFWEIGURH

oops...vandalise my own blog space. currently, no place available for me to vandalise...sob sob sob sob sob sob. blab...

sad...think that supervisor got problem. he kinda of biased against the SRG(singapore robotics games) team. haha...i think i got attention seeking problem. hahaha...he like more focused on the USA team. hmmph. back to work...enough of blabbing le...

last night had a really bad headache, so i turned in earlier than usual. its one of those not-enough-rest headaches again no worries. this will partly explain my presence at school at this early point of the day.

going to trek mount ophir this comin friday and returning on monday evening.

back to the yesterday post.

back to the point about how lazy i am. pretty much of it, i guess. more accurately, i have been living like an emperor. well not to the extend of havin people change my clothes and soiled pants for me, NOT THAT. think of my laziness as having GREAT amounts of INERTIA. according to simplified newtonian theory, it is the measure of the resistance to move. in other words, the alan law, the laziness rule. i guess this will be the hardes to swallow so far.

as i write this piece, a person came to mind. of course, that is she, what were you expecting?! before i released this 2 post on this blog. i remember telling her about all this. well, not exactly all this. why? cos the both of us were on quite talking terms, VERY talking terms. so i kinda of left out the 1st part.

what happened next? liken to any rotten guys you find on the street, i was too stupid to realise and thus never actually cherish. well...what to do...(sigh). i dun know if she will fit the 2nd and 3rd bill, but she is definitely the one who fits the 1st bill. she fit-ed it so nicely that i didnt think it was essential to ask of her. i guess i shld jus stick back to being analytical. stop using the heart so much.

so whats the status quo between her and me? lets jus say i did some REALLY dumbass things and we are not on that much a talking term as before.(sigh)...i guess this is what they meant by, "you havent tasted loneliness till you tasted companionship"

-----ending this post in realisation of his loss....

good afternoon...alot to write about and blab. or maybe jus none at all.

recently was reviewing wat i look for in a potential soulmate. why? got reminded by an online fren whom i jus got to know about. her name is huiling from indonesia. same age as me and we met through friendster. she was interested to know about what life has installed for her. jus so happens that i was able to satisfy her curiousity. weird, how 2 person can jus meet like that. for the record, she is a virgo.

i am jus doin an unofficial statistical check about the females around or have been around me. then i seem to stand out as a virgo magnet. not that i am booasting, it jus so happens, i click well with virgo. not to mention leos and libras and not forgetting sagi. well, that jus about round things up. hmmm...trend?

anyway, back to main topic. what i look for in a soulmate, preferred species, female. i am not goin to act all high mighty and noble saying that species doesnt matter. well, i find that i can click somehow better with girls. i think it comes with the package at around 16 Oct 1982.

and i know, we shldnt expect without first giving. cant blame me also, no apparent chance for me to even explore what i can give. so here i am making list of what i expect.

i hope to find someone whom i can talk to or talk with. i understood in the past that communications was important. but little had i expect it to be so crucial. that soulmate had to be someone whom i can talk to for ages and ages to come. with no restrictions and limitation of topics. from the weird and unthinkable to the close to heart matters or even problems. to share and to behold even the smallest details of each another's world. ... ...hmmm abit too idealistic, rite?

another expectation. i hope she can be the frank and forward person. a person who knows what she wants and not shy about asking for it. i know this is also TOO idealistic and surreal. at minimal she should have idea what she wants and will at times ask for it.

last point. she must have great tolerance of my laziness. here i am admitting that i am lazy,

comin back later...going for class