had a very interesting dream last nite...
btw...now slacking in company, cos LUNCHTIME.
continuing the probable attempt to forget her(forget the pain that is associated with her). i dreamt that she was sms-ed me, regarding her change in fone number. i nearly woke up thinking i really read the sms.
interpretation for the dream:
- guess i really cant put her out of my mind
- even in dream i hope she would stay in contact
- good number to bet on? i doubt so...dun even remember the number already
its like day 2 of the attempt and i already dreamin of such stuff already. an attempt with possible favourable outcome?
why have we ended up like this? instead of goin through all this drama, why not get together? why cant i leave the associated pain behind and retain all the happiness and joy?
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
my post nowadays seems to always be abt her. its becos i still cant displace her from the center of my world.
i jus saw her profile in facebook. she added some new pictures. pictures of her fren and her on a cruise ship.
back while we were still together, i asked her if she wanted to go for a cruise ride. she replied that i would have to bring her whole family along. now looking at the pics of only her fren and her. i felt this sudden depression.
an emotional downturn, which (apparently to myself) have no control of.
it still hurts...how can i get past her?
maybe a long long long long long silence(ceased communication) between us will wash away everything. wash away my memories of her, her face, her smile, and her everything...
i jus saw her profile in facebook. she added some new pictures. pictures of her fren and her on a cruise ship.
back while we were still together, i asked her if she wanted to go for a cruise ride. she replied that i would have to bring her whole family along. now looking at the pics of only her fren and her. i felt this sudden depression.
an emotional downturn, which (apparently to myself) have no control of.
it still hurts...how can i get past her?
maybe a long long long long long silence(ceased communication) between us will wash away everything. wash away my memories of her, her face, her smile, and her everything...
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
yesterday, was my first day of Industrial Attachment(cos now is past midnite already).
first day at work, we were all thoroughly slammed with watever secret acts that there is. basically, i was doin my best not to think of it as a prison cell. the only movement that i am quite restricted to is my office block(certain offices only), the HR building lobby and the canteen. seriously, when they find you at places that you are not to be, seems that it wouldnt be jus reprimanding. talk about serious regulation problem.
after work i joined wilson for a drink at marina area. it was his treat for my first day of work, or rather it was his excuse to not be alone and out of the house. the worst part was the live band.
it wasnt that the 2 of them sucked. it was a matter of preference not to want them at all. i prefer the soft(volume-wise) music at the background. when u have such a music, there is a choice of listening. when the live band is jus there, you can ignore it. there seems to be no way to NOT listen, when u happen to see them, the music starts getting in. leaving absolutely no choice for listening or not, when it is so much louder.
all of a sudden, i felt an urge to talk to wilson about stuff.(i do pour some of my stuff to him)he ended up being a listener, to at least a portion of wat i wanted to say or had felt.
recently, i went out with her again. the feeling was mixed. i really enjoyed looking at her smile, listening to her nonsense and being near her. i am really glad she agreed to come out and her willingness to still share stuff about her with me.
but it was also mixed with uneasiness. i wondered how to approach her again. to see her as a fren, would be to learn all over wat a fren she was. cos i cant remember how to treat her as a fren. then the song came on.
"heaven knows" - adapted and replayed by the live band
She's always on my mind ...
And even now she's gone, i am still holding on...
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
suddenly...everything jus drowns out. either by the beer, the band or by wilson
first day at work, we were all thoroughly slammed with watever secret acts that there is. basically, i was doin my best not to think of it as a prison cell. the only movement that i am quite restricted to is my office block(certain offices only), the HR building lobby and the canteen. seriously, when they find you at places that you are not to be, seems that it wouldnt be jus reprimanding. talk about serious regulation problem.
after work i joined wilson for a drink at marina area. it was his treat for my first day of work, or rather it was his excuse to not be alone and out of the house. the worst part was the live band.
it wasnt that the 2 of them sucked. it was a matter of preference not to want them at all. i prefer the soft(volume-wise) music at the background. when u have such a music, there is a choice of listening. when the live band is jus there, you can ignore it. there seems to be no way to NOT listen, when u happen to see them, the music starts getting in. leaving absolutely no choice for listening or not, when it is so much louder.
all of a sudden, i felt an urge to talk to wilson about stuff.(i do pour some of my stuff to him)he ended up being a listener, to at least a portion of wat i wanted to say or had felt.
recently, i went out with her again. the feeling was mixed. i really enjoyed looking at her smile, listening to her nonsense and being near her. i am really glad she agreed to come out and her willingness to still share stuff about her with me.
but it was also mixed with uneasiness. i wondered how to approach her again. to see her as a fren, would be to learn all over wat a fren she was. cos i cant remember how to treat her as a fren. then the song came on.
"heaven knows" - adapted and replayed by the live band
She's always on my mind ...
And even now she's gone, i am still holding on...
Maybe my love will come back someday
Only heaven knows
And maybe our hearts will find a way
But only heaven knows
And all I can do is hope & pray
'Coz heaven knows.
My friends keep telling me
That if you really love her,
You've gotta set her free
And if she returns in time
I'll know she's mine
But tell me, where do I start
'Coz it's breakin' my heart
Don't wanna let her go
suddenly...everything jus drowns out. either by the beer, the band or by wilson