argghh...

suddenly getting cold feet...havin a bad feeling abt this comin thurs. am i having too much expectation? am i thinking it too rosy?

(reading back wat i wrote previously)...

am i asking too much of her, to once again accept me back to her life? is she more happy without me around? should things remain as status quo? maybe i am the only one that is still holding on to the past.

should i go ask plan previously? ... ... can there be a sign?

the stage is set. i will be meeting her on this coming thursday, V-day. motive? to bare it all out

y this agenda all of a sudden?

currently, i am at the crossroads
1) can forget her (OR)
2) patch back with her

it is evident enough that i cant forget her.

this thursday, i will be more about asking her how she still feels about me. it cant be that since i wanna get back with her, so she must accept me. she might already feel differently about us and me.

and also, i would really be hoping to hear a reassurance from her if i were to choose path no 2. a reassurance that will give me the strength to make the leap into the other path.

reassurance that comes in the form of 'naked' self. in the form of her fears, her sorrow, her worries and her depression. the side that she keeps it stuffed away. so that i maybe able to protect her from fear, stand with her in sorrow, share her worries and wake her from depression.

crumble was the word...

day 3 into my attempt. but one sms from her..."wanna go watch movie and have dinner?"

hesitation was as good as an ant trying to stop a flood. officially i guess thats the end of my attempt.