today...totally failin in what i had set out to do a few days back, which is to forget her.

still she lingers somewhere in my dreams. yes! i do mean the dreams that you have at nite while you sleep. jus last nite, while she came online, i sorta noticed sometime weird about her nick. kinda felt that she have been kinda depressed or something.

then i approached her. indeed, my fears were kinda of realised. she was quite down. naturally i felt very helpless. i tried to probe but she refused to say anything. she kept saying that she had no idea how to put say it. then i tried to guide her thots slowly to put everythin in words, that failed. hmmm...plan B then came into mind and straight into action. cheer her up. erm...towards the end, she seems to be cheered up, i hope.

till this morning, i was still quite troubled about what was actually troubling her. i still cannot put any sentence any cause to her misery and that was causing alot of misery and unrest. the only possible cause that i can sentence was my previous post. i tried to ask her this morning whether it was my post that had caused her much misery. she replied no and that she was jus feeling moody thats all. i had no other clues to work with. i was still not quite satisfied with her answer, but had to accept it. maybe i jus needed a confirmation from her eyes.

wish i can jus forget everything abt her and start anew. then fate is trying to make me hang on. i was at popular bookstore yesterday. i was at my usual section, the new age/feng shui/astrology section. then i took up a book about Western Astrology.

as a usual practice i will actually look up all the pages that concerns me before proceeding to any other pages that may concern anyone that i have in mind. somehow, i went to the taurus section first. then i went into the love section of taurus. i seems that taurus are slow to warm up to their potential lovers. when taurus eventually gets warmed up to them, their potential lovers become lovers for other people.

hmmm...seriously, this is the first time that i have across such a description about taurus. then i was wondering...a sign? the night before, i jus dreamt about her. later, in the same day, the above events happened.

that night i was watching movie on channel 8. the show was starring, ekin cheng and charlene choi. the plot was about this 2 families long standing relationship with each another, that they actually had a nuptial agreement even before their children were born. technically, both the characters played by ekin and charlene are married before birth. this is kinda of the common practice back in more fedual chinese society. the twist was that they had a 12 years age gap. it was a more comical show than a romantic one. sign number 4?

hmmm...maybe i am thinking too much because i jus dun wanna let her go?

Project Ling is going very smoothly. well, it is progress everyday although not a very god-speed. it is still progressin.