yesterday...something really disturbing happened. disturbing meaning it disturbed my sleep ALOT. current location, blk 40at 0830+.
yesterday, met up with a fren, matthew, to talk shop about our business venture and 10 year plan. he was at the moment quite caught up in his half-hanging relationship. furthermore, that seems to be his only source of power to continue on whatever, he is doin now.
so out of concern, he asked about how was that aspect of my life comin along. that meaning the relationship aspect. it was like re-opening an old wound...
recently, or more accurately jus previous post, i did an analytical view and perspective on the topic LOVE. recieved quite a fair bit of thrashing though, and i wondered why. maybe i wasnt kinda of expecting that level of thrashing. cos i thot i had finally shone a light at the dark misty path at this field. oh well, so far no postive comments nor any indication that my theory draws parallel to real-life situation. sigh...
returning back home from the business venture, i felt tired and went to bed immediately. it shld be around midnite when i hit the sack. amazing, i woke up at around 0500+(didnt check the clock). then i tossed and turned on the bed for the next few waking hours. doing wat? thinking...matthew's topic had stayed in my mind long and hard till the point of disturbing my sleep.
imagine...i actually had the power, capability and destructiviness to ruin 2 friendship at a go. wow...and let all beware that when alan has power, he is all foolish, rash and stupid.
after numerous times of reading her blog previously, enlightenment came only at this morning 0715(i actually stood up to look at my alarm clock). i finally saw the light shining at the end of the tunnel. i finally could understand her perspective, understand why she was stumped. it all make sense now.
life was great before affairs of heart entered into alan's life. he was at minimum happy. he was a disturbed, deranged and disllusional but happy in his own right. that was the growing years. change came at around secondary school, when he and messenger of love crossed path. complexity drew.
usually, i will wake around 0730 and still laze around in bed. usually take the 0800 66 bus, reach school at around 0800++ near 0900 jus nice for my 0900 classes. now that i woke up at 0715, i was relatively earlier for my schedule. hmmmm...
jus then i noticed a habit, that i think i jus grew. i went and shave off my facial hair(not including my eyebrows) and trim my nostril hair. haha...the habit is actually not the trimming of my facial hairs. its actually something to do with cleaning. recently i feel that whenever, i feel bored and stressed out. i pick up something to clean. the first was my ledge at the windows. second was my Nalgene bottle. the third is now my face.
weird?...nah~ it think it may be working out to be a good habit. after all, who can say that there can be no stress in life. hehe...so when stress then clean something. end up with a more hygenic environment, less likely to get sick and less likely to be more stressed. :) weird but workable logic. haha...so i guess whenever, you see a really presentable alan. i guess it would mean a really rough patch for alan. so pray you see a really shagged out alan. hahaha...
still lingering on the relationship aspect of my life. haha...despite changin topic here and there... still...haiz!! maybe the next thing will be to keep out of this field for a while...
LiNG progress.....zero
