awake, undead and enlightened.

have been thinking hard lately. if your guess was that i was thinking for the prep Battle Royale, boy were u SO wrong.

of late, i have been sinking in and out of depression. erm...not the medically kind, jus tat i kinda feel depressed all of a sudden. you know, jus feeling emotionally unelated, unhappy and yet not sad nor sorrow. this may be the best effort to describe this feeling. for reference sake, i call it depression-beta.

then out of the blue, it jus occured to me. that the environment played quite an influential role in this absurd and obscure feeling. the cooler the environment, the easily excitable i get and thus less likely to have that depression-B. the warmer the environment, the more difficult to sink out of depression-B. hmmm...but anyway its jus conjecture for now.

quite abit has happened, my mother falling sick jus yesterday(she looks like shes all pink now). all the CNY shopping not done AT ALL(past records show that this is definitely phenonmenal). soon to be out of job(not meeting sales target to justify for my presence). enlightenment of certain issues.

it is impt to know what u wanna do every morning. hmmm...re-phrase : your first waking thot is decisive throughout that day. the consistency of that first thot can change minimaly your UNIVERSE.

go try it out. when u sit up awake, or watever position u might be in when u wake. WAT IS YOUR 1st THOT?? then if u have the diary-writing habit, u will notice that your day will very likey revlove in and around that first thot. then if u consistently have the same 1st thot for a few days. that thot might jus slowly transgress into actual event. obvious if u think abt sex and gamble every morning, that is the kind of fuel that your brain recieves. so dun blame anyone if that brain of yours relatively malfunctions.

yawns...heavy eyelids. sleep beckons...