like wat i was mentioning the last post. i was trying to get into the alpha centre to do my final year project(sumo-wrestler robot) for the Singapore Robotics games & the US robotics games(IF i get selected, hopefully). well i got in. erm...actually with much special thanks to a few people who FOUGHT hard to get me in. hereby i would like to take this opporunity to thank Tan WeiYi, Joyce Yip, Wong WeiChien and Chee WeiJian. thanks guys. hehe, i guess all these names will have to be eventually be in the thank you speech...IF i get the chance to say thanks(meaning win something).
getting into alpha centre is not a bed of roses at all. first, there are the endorsement modules which the ALL the alpha centre HAVE(meaning compulsory) to go. these endorsement modules are to sorta give a head-start into our Final Year Project. the lessons are for a month from 0900-1700. meaning again that the holidays are roughly burned from 18th April onwards. hehe...but i only attended the lessons from 21st April onwards. hehe...(due to the lengthy-ness of the following content the editor of maxferes.blogspot.com has decided to scrap it)
so roughly my typical day would start off somewhere around 0730+ where i wake and prep of the course. arrival at around 0830 for breakfast. 0900 start class. 'skip' class from 1200 onwards. reach home at best around 1330+, get ready for work. reach workplace at 1440+. end the work at 2300. reach home 2315+. bath, wait for hair to dry then sleep at near 0100. phew...great day rite? this i call it my iron-man schedule for the weekdays. and i have touched on the weekend schedules yet...which is less rigid and more flexible in events. either rest or work.
not exactly regretting the decision as wat most of my frens think, rather i am sorta hoping to get some support to help me get through this period in a sane way. personally, i think this arrangement is already quite the dream schedule. having the best of both worlds. starting prep for my final year as well as earning some cash. jus wondering if i live long enough to see the fruits ripe.
a few other things as well...these few days although i didnt blog online. didnt sorta record my thots and impt events in my life. i did try to blog mentally, when i am on bus wondering into space. the worst part of it is that i will always have no chance to recollect back those blogs.
things are not exactly, goin quite smoothly for leslie. been trying to talk to him for quite sometime, but hesitated and gave up. might because of how difficult it is to even begin the conversation. somehow, i wish i could help in some ways. however, if leslies is reading this, jus wanna let you know, everyone HAS to go through a deepest point in their life. dun sweat walk try to find the way out, because you will eventually laugh about this whenever you look back.
things i guess i finally understood the idea about understanding. when you read, you can only comprehend, meaning that you know the idea that the language is trying to paint. however, in order to understand you will have to know the idea by personal experience. take for example, you read on a book about how a mutton should taste like. with all the adjective inscribed within the pages, you begin to KNOW how a mutton should taste like. THAT is only comprehension. another person who has tasted mutton before reads the same book. to him, the adjectives are mere reminder of how the mutton tasted. THAT is what i think is understanding.
you hear people say this and talk that, and i would like to boldly assume that 80% of the time you would only KNOW what they say. it is when you truly experience that you truly understanding. And i believe that is wat i am here for, to experience the world. i used to think that i was never lonely, even when i was alone all by myself. slowly, i began to hunger for companionship. then loneliness was beginning to cause unhappiness and sadness. then came a different level of companionship that i lusted after. i crave for someone to share my everyday, my every happiness and myself. haha...i guess i am drifting too far from topic... :)
(Bang) something jus hit me...i am goin to do another one of those crazy stuff that i always so oftenly and implusively do.
living life with no regrets. so here goes(abandoment of wat is the right/wrong thing-to-do concept)...remembering the 14th April post and the 17th April post. they were all in ciphers. REASON: to not that specific someone find out wat i was writing about. so why am i de-ciphering it myself? read previous paragraph. so the next question is...WAT the shit was i writing about?
14th April - i wrote about 13th april nite. where i cried myself to sleep. i must admit i dont usually shed tears, even when my paternal grandmother or maternal grandfather both died in front of me. my mother said that i was very stone-cold. guess wat, this stone-cold freak was crying himself to sleep on the 13th April. while at it, there was a consistent pain, which felt like it cut across the heart surface. i was after some time where i did not find any balls(that i threw over) came back. i admit that i was desperate, i was pathetic and that i had super poor timing. of all the times in the season, i had to pick her exam period. so i ciphered the post. i have no wish to destroy her last paper and her very short 2.5 days of holidays. during the whole crying, i saw the funeral of myself and those who attended. hence the title of that post, the death of alan.
i wonder if that episode was jus a natural defense mecahism that my body or mind developed, because suddenly i was able to be as stone-cold as before. or did my heart already give up? my mind certainly did not. thats how the 17th April post came about.
17th April - maxferes will take over the roles and responsiblities of being alan. i have decided to switch to my alter ego, while i hide and lick my own wounds. maxferes was a Warrior-General alter-ego whom i conjured up a few years back. he was always the strong and tough side.
till today, did maxferes help? yes and no. till now, whenever i try to look at another girl, somehow her image floats. then a very restictive presence is felt. an imposing restrictive? NO...jus kinda of like those "oh, cannot ar..ok". desipte all the hectic schedule, my mind can still so readily summon her image with snap finger speed.
"silence cannot exist without noise"
開不了口
Kai bu liao kou
Composer: Jay Chou (周杰倫) Lyricist: Vivian Hsu (徐若瑄)
才離開沒多久就開始cai li kai mei duo jiu jiu kai shi
擔心今天的妳過的好不好
dan xin jin tian de ni guo de hao bu hao
整個畫面是妳
zheng ge hua mian shi ni
想妳想到睡不著
xiang ni xiang dao shui bu zhao
嘴嘟嘟那可愛的模樣
zui du du na ke ai de mu yang
還有在妳身上香香的味道
hai you zai ni shen shang xiang xiang de wei dao
我的快樂是妳
wo de kuai le shi ni
想妳想的都會笑
xiang ni xiang de dou hui xiao
沒有妳在我有多難熬
mei you ni zai wo you duo nan ao
(沒有妳在我有多難熬多煩惱)
(mei you ni zai wo you duo nan ao duo fan nao)
沒有妳煩我有多煩惱
mei you ni fan wo you duo fan nao
(沒有妳煩我有多煩惱多難熬)
(mei you ni fan wo you duo fan nao duo nan ao)
穿過雲層
chuan guo yun ceng
我試著努力向妳奔跑
wo shi zhe nu li xiang ni ben pao
愛才送到
ai cai song dao
妳卻已在別人懷抱
ni que yi zai bie ren huai bao
就是開不了口
jiu shi kai bu liao kou
讓她知道
rang ta zhi dao
我一定會呵護著妳
wo yi ding hui he hu zhe ni
也逗妳笑
ye dou ni xiao
妳對我有多重要
ni dui wo you duo zhong yao
我後悔沒
wo hou hui mei
讓妳知道
rang ni zhi dao
安靜的聽妳撒嬌
an jing de ting ni sa jiao
看妳睡著一直到老
kan ni shui zhao yi zhi dao lao
就是開不了口
jiu shi kai bu liao kou
讓她知道
rang ta zhi dao
就是那麼簡單幾句
jiu shi na me jian dan ji ju
我辦不到
wo ban bu dao
整顆心懸在半空
zheng ke xin xuan zai ban kong
我只能夠遠遠看著
wo zhi neng gou yuan yuan kan zhe
這些我都做得到
zhe xie wo dou zuo de dao
但那個人已經不是我
dan nei ge ren yi jing bu shi wo
