today...another failed attempt to go for the event crew interview. denise(ryan's girlfriend) still have yet to recover enough to go for the interview. ended up spending most of my time chatting up with one of my ex-camp mate, Mak Kah Wai.

kah wai, was like a younger brother to me. i remembered that we didnt talk alot with each other in camp. however, when we did, he really poured his heart out. we always had this verbal clashes(friendly ones), like how my brother and i does it.

well, maybe as you can tell the main point of this post was neither points mentioned above. somehow, my brain jus went into its normal and usual mode. the usually depressed and depressing mode.

recently, i have been recieving alot of encouragement and support for me to press on. most of them tell me that i am still in a hopeful state, and that if i press on everything will be fine. i got support from Kumar(one of my best fren). Benny(who got baptised on the 10 April, also another best fren) didnt comment on it. alicia seems to be enthu and standing on my side and supporting. well, the list of people goes on. that i dun even know how to begin it or end it.

so like how a libra would do, i took some of the advice. i continued to sort of continue being frens with her and i guess thats how everything seems to be goin haywire. looking through maxferes(a third person) eyes, i see alan as a very very pathetic guy.

maxferes : "you are like the most pathetic guy i have ever seen. what the shit are you trying to do? beggin for her attention? wat is all this thinking about her about?"

alan : "... ...i guess i am jus trying to hold on to watever hope i have."

maxferes : "what hope? you have got to start thinking for yourself. start planning for your own future. why are you giving such a damn about this girl? there will be plenty more from where that came from. no need to fret?"

alan : "at this moment, she is like the most special one. the only girl so far to have evoked such a reaction in me. and i jus afraid that i might not find another similar or even better."

maxferes : "you such a big sissy, wuss. lets just face the facts. firstly, she doesnt like you. so don't you think you are trying abit too hard. secondly, ..."

feng : "so when can we end e lord of e rings 3rd age...wanna try whack e ringwraith again."

maxferes : "hey wait for your turn. besides, this is our talk, get lost."

feng : "tml is a gd dae 2 play u know?"

alan : "how abt we talk abt that issue slightly later. so as you were saying?"

maxferes : "firstly, she doesn't like you. so where the shit did that hope come from? the trash bin? secondly, can you like get a hold of yourself because you LOOK like SHIT. you don't exactly qualify for the heart-throb section. nor do you fit into the filthy rich section."

alan : "but is that anything to do with our topic?"

maxferes : "why not you, dick. what makes you think she will look at you twice without either looks or cash. NAIVE. everyone is the same. first impression counts. you either let everyone gravel at your feet for your beauty or let everyone pray to your cash at hand."

alan : "not everyone is like that one. for one i dun think she is. hey, not everyone is THAT shallow. at least i m not. its actually more of how you get along with people that decides the type of relationship you have with them. its like some are really meant to jus be hi-bye frens and some are like really cool to hang around with as frens. you get wat i mean"

maxferes : "ok...LETS just say that you are right for once. ok, then thirdly, do you deny that you are totally boring AND LIFELESS. to totally define your boring and lifeless, i would have to add that it tends towards infinity."

alan : "well, its not exactly true. jus that i can easily entertain myself without the need for external factors."

feng : "yea...PS2!!!i hopin 2 play rose also...but scared later get addicted sia...ü"

maxferes : "just face it. you are too thrifty to spend even spend on your own entertainment activities. MISER"

alan : "actually, its not that i dun wanna spend on my own entertainment activities. its jus that i cannot even enjoy. singing at KBox, to me, its jus singing. then dancing..."

maxferes : "in short, if you don't mind already."

alan : "i dun know. i think its becos ... ... i haven found someone to enjoy it with."

maxferes : "THATS like totally lame and loser."

alan : "no its like, playmates. children can play by themselves too. but jus that they might enjoy it even better if they had a playmate or 2. i guess the same goes for me. i jus haven found the right playmate to enjoy it with."

maxferes : "you know Playboys have plenty of playmates..."

alan : "NOT in that context!!"

maxferes : "haha. so when are you going to get that playmate of yours? then redeem back your un-boring and active lifestyle."

alan : "well, i dun know"

maxferes : "then what the freak DO you KNOW?"

alan : "its gettin harder and harder by the minute."

maxferes : "you know we can all work together to forget about her. its easy. since you don't even remember much things too."

alan : "..."

"人因梦想而伟大, 王因坚持梦想而圣大"