she is sick le...jus when i thot of getting her off my mind for a change, she falls sick.

recently, i found that i have quite into her stuffs, like her current exams. the times that i c her online, i get her to try and at least study for her exams. although i know that she knows wat is best for her and that she will almost very certainly do wat's best for her. and it is also for certain that she may get complacent and not do wat she thinks she has to do. THAT IS TO STUDY. so jus think of it as watchin her back.

it was monday, when she had her third last paper. she was rather confident abt that paper. however, i still tried to get her to at least do a minimal revision for it. then, at that point, i jus thought that i maybe overly concern abt her matters. after all, wat am i. maybe i shld jus take a step back and relax my life a little and enjoy.

today i had initially planned to go down for an interview with denise(ryan's girlfriend). jus so happens that she was not feelin well. so we kinda shelved that idea. then i proceeded to play badminton at Pasir Panjang Christ Church. i felt it was fun...till now.

i JUS discovered she is not feelin well. furthermore, she is havin her exams tomorrow morning. that really sucked. jus when i turned my head around for the minute. now its late in the night, plauged with the sickly feeling, she still tries to plough through the pages and pages of notes. i really felt very gulity about the whole badminton session.

whats the use of my natural ability to comprehend and understand ideas and pattern when i cannot even use it at the right time and moment. i should have been there to summarise and help her more effectively and efficiently study for tomorrow's exam. while i jus aimlessly wasted it on badminton.

now as i type...she trys to conquer the illness, fights for sanity and the sandman, while tryin to study for her exams. now all i can do is WAIT. wait for her call, if she cannot handle the stress and feels like breaking out. wait for her message, to say that she is goin to sleep. so that she can let her brain be in better condition to think and analysis for tomorrow's paper.

(this passage is written out of rage and anxiety. Rage for myself and anxiety for her)