recently, i hate waking up in the middle of the night. why? because when i do, i feel all alone. then i will proceed on to hug my 2nd pillow tightly, so tight that it has in recent times deformed.

even though i know that hugging a pillow is no permanent solution. my brain has no solution to offer my body. why is there such longing to be hugged? i heard people say that its due to the lack of hugs due my infancy years that lead to the vast desire to be hugged and assured. well, i dun remember much about my infancy years. however, what i do remember is that since the beginning of my memory, i dun think i have hugged anybody because of an urge to hug. hmmmm...weird. hehe...wanna know who was in mind when the urge to hug came? hehe...

oh...back to the topic about me writing blog. a few days back, a fren mentioned that he actually wanted to start writing blog, but was totally clueless about it. being frens, i told him how i did it.

whenever, i start to write a post, i would have this certain scenerio in mind. i would imagine myself being the reader in one fine day, where i had lost all memories of my past. this blog is supposed to provide as accurate as possible details to the daily significant events in my life. well maybe not daily, but most significant events in my life. those big shockers, small happiness and interesting thoughts.

within this blog i try as much as possible to embed my emotions at that current moment. if not, this whole blog might jus as well be known as the biography of maxferes. i didnt like history, due to it the stiffness of content. eeek.

the extra audience is jus secondary concern. then this whole issue starts, if i didnt have the extra audience as primary motive, then why am i doin it online? the whole branding of being a show-off cum attention seeker starts. humph...

i should by explaining why i chose to leave my memories online rather than other alternatives. firstly, i dun quite like to write. i dun have a nice handwriting and yes, i do know that practice makes perfect, but i am jus not quite inclined to do it. this is further explained in the next point. another thing is about coherent thinking. my thoughts are more attuned to the typing fingers rather than the writing hand. thus multiple correction arise when i write, because i think too slowly than my writing hand. however, when i type, my fingers think the thoughts for me. somehow, they sync.

hehe...although the electronic writing more for multiple correction writing. however, i make less correction that when i do on writing. or is that my impression...:)

secondly, the hassle of a diary. sooner or later, the diary is goin to run out of pages. then what? get new diary? where do i store the old ones? eventually all diaries get stored in some part of earth in Singapore. the impression of internet that i have is linked with forever. thus my memories can be forever stored, hopefully stored away.

hmmm...i guess thats all the excuse i can think of for my actions to write my memories online.

this is the 2nd day of prep BATTLE ROYALE. the first day ended quite alright till i stepped out of the prep BATTLE ROYALE arena and realised a vital mistake. haiz...sigh. now can only look forward to the future.

LiNG has been named to Zer0. why? apparently, weichien suddenly didnt like the name. actually the whole idea is to name it zero and ling is the chinese pronounciation(hanyu pin yin) for zero.