nothing big happened today...and for that i am glad. i used to crave for extra-ordinary life(i still do sometimes now). to be in super fanatised world of my own, living in extremely unimaginable situations and circumstances. hmmm...wonder if it was the hallucations by the drug i was taking when i was younger...hmmm.

anyhow, this marks the last second wkend of the last semster of the 2nd year of my course. soon the decisive Battle Royale will split the class up, into our individual electives. hmmm...goodbyes again. although i have had much training in saying it, there is still the problem of gettin it right. wondering why i am writing about this? obviously, its because there are going to be people that i am goin to miss. oh well...life still goes on, thus movin on.

about this girl that i have been trying very hard to eradicate and evict out of my head. i guess the final card has been laid. lettin it go. i have been concerning myself with how bad the situation might get if she finds out or if i confronts her. i am scared of the after effects. she might react differently from me. she might jus reject and slowly distant herself away, or she might not wanna see me again, or when we meet the next time it might jus get all weird and awakard. thus, laying down my decision to back off and watch from a distant.

"世界上最遥远的距离不是天涯海角, 天各一方, 也不是生离死别, 而是你在我面前而说不出我爱你"

moving on...was updating myself on a few blog site(fren's site). suddenly realised that xiao mei(ven) wasnt quite enjoying her time. from her blog, she seems to be havin some problem communicating with a fren. i dun know how i can make her feel happy like before again. she has that smile that can really brighten someone's day(well at least it did for me). i remember one tuesday morning, i met her at blk 56 bench area. she was reading a book(i think). she noticed me walking by and smiled. that sure brighten my day. watever has happened to her and her fren, i jus hope that she can take a step back and bring back that cheery happiness in her.

then i saw leslie's blog. well, its been quite a while since i have been there, or anyway on the net lately. i noticed that he posted quite some dialogues. being the curious me, i read to find out more. guess what, he actually post his inner thoughts. inner thoughts(the two imaginary voices that rattle in your brain). i actually admire his guts and balls(courage), that he actually was so public about his MOST inner thoughts. seriously, that was as real as can get. to others it seems was jus leslie talkin to leslie about leslie. however, in actual fact, it is a peek into leslie and wat goes on in his brain. INTERESTING.

well i must admit, i sometimes do talk to myself too over issues that i really cannot get a grip on or cannot let go of. its always easier to console another person, but the barber cannot trim his own hair. so wat to do? get creative. console and talk to yourself about it. this is how sometimes i explore and discover more of myself when problems crop. its really interesting once you stand on the 3rd person perspective on your own problem, you tend to view everything with DIAMOND clarity. how the problem was actually quite nothing, how the parties involved are quite riddculous and silly, how this and how that.

then at another site, i saw a sister trying to understand her little sister. feels nostagic. me being an elder brother and similarily will have a similar problem with a little brother. dun worry, everything will work out, afterall siblings are siblings.

remembering wat a fren said to me before, the magnitude of a problem is proportional to the square of the number of people involved.