putting aside how distracted i was by this particular girl, not to mention that most of my waking thoughts are distracted by her even by dream world is invaded by images of her. i guess its hard to tell whether all these feelings of her are pure. considering that i am inborn with the ability to think with my dick and male horomones.

the most pressing issue at hand other than the upcomin exams is Project F. F represents the first alphabet of a fren whom i have over the period neglected. i must admit that i was not paying alot of attention towards his studies and the direction it was taking. not that all that was my business, but i jus felt it meant alot to me.

he was my classmate when i first entered into this course. later on, he moved on to becomin quite a fren. however, life was all equal in meting out trials and tribulation. my first impression of him, was that he was a happy and postive person. despite all that quick witted antics he pulled at class, he was quite a reserved person. he was shaped like how a Male would behave.

Man(male species) was consistently throughout the primitve ages subjected to competition. competition to be the best, the fastest, the quickest, the most, etc. slowly, all this competition jus took root and grew from within. he learns how to show a false front in front of his fellow man, jus so as to find his rightful place within the society. then those who feels inferior, jus QUIT, in order not to slow or burden the pack. this mentally, has evolved through the ages and slowly took into other forms.

his name is Faizar. progject F, also means that he cannot afford to fail one particular module again. if he does then its goin to be bye-bye poly for him. that module is MAMS(mechanical aspect on mechatronic system). he is now doin a 2nd time on this module already. and as it turns out, i heard he fail the recent commont test for this module. the exams near, and i feel that he seeks to only draw himself away.

i see him totally strapped tight with his club activities and hardly even have time to breathe, does he even study? everyone has their own problems who doesnt? his family is goin through a rough patch in the financial aspect. and he tells me that he is studying at home. can i even choose to believe even 1% of that lie?

i have personally been through a financial rough patch as well, although not as big a scale as a family-size. every other day, money jus leaks out. with each leak, you will definitely feel an unidentified pressure comin down on you. that pressure alone has broken and sent alot of people to their ends, let alone handle it with studies. i am thankfully to have survived this experience and live to tell about it.

although is still do not have a clear picture of what's bothering his studies. i can only guess that its the FFF(failure, family, financial). BUT faizar, for the sake, completing this course of study please concentrate. i seriously doubt you can ever concentrate at class, while your mind wanders to think of your family and their finances. i also seriously doubt you can ever concentrate at home while your mind wanders about your studies.

"i seriously wish to help, please dun withdraw yourself from the crowd, from me. theres nothing wrong to ask for help. if we are all born to know everything, then what are schools, teaches and text for? please do not think that you are all omni-potent, and that you can take on everything by yourself. if thats the case, there would only be 1 person in every army of the world. i cannot bear to see you degrade yourself further. please let me and the people around you help you."
-- from a helpless fren, alan